rawrrrr.

He's gone.

2009-12-08T18:28:00.000-08:00

Out of my life, o he's gone.

The letter came in early today.
Pretty much upset about it.
I woke up to the convo he had.
My vision was blurred when he said, "Damien Lock?"
Oh, my hands trembled, my heart beats rapidly.
This is it. Again, everything will be on repeat.

I am sorry, pa.

Auf Wiedersehen.

ringdingdong

2009-10-24T11:59:00.000-07:00

Although you may not love me, although you may not care. If you shall ever need me, you know that I'll be there. Your love may all be taken, your heart may not be free, but when your heart is broken, you can always lean on me. I'll never stop loving you, I know because I tried. All the oceans in the world, can't hold the tears I've cried.

So, tell me.
Am I stupid?

Auf Wiedersehen.

Everymovei'mmaking.

2009-10-23T22:17:00.000-07:00

Never be sad for what is over,
just be glad that it was once yours.

You used to be the air that I breathe.
Your right. In all ways.
This is it. (:
Good luck, E.

Hiatus.

Myone.

2009-10-22T03:57:00.000-07:00

If you do not love me I shall not be loved
If i do not love you I shall not love you.

I want it my way. You had your chance.
Play with me ?

Auf Wiedersehen.

JustApost.

2009-10-20T10:10:00.000-07:00

Yes, she;s layhuh.
I like cigarettes, something I am addicted to.
You light it, you smoke it.
That one puff will change everything.
I could spend my whole pocket money just so I could cater to you, NEXT.
But how long will it last.
Nothing last forever.
Even frienships, I used to believe in 'Friends Forever, Till' death do us apart'
Those shits; Yes.
But why doesn't it last?

The ache of loneliness it will never retreat,
Overwhelming as I fall in disgrace at your feet,
My world crumbles your laughter rings through my ears,
I fade into nothingness the only thing left is fear.

You cannot do a kindness too soon.
For you never know how soon it will be too late.

Auf Wiedersehen.

FuckThisLove.

2009-10-19T08:06:00.000-07:00

oh, i adore them too much.
Ever felt like you are giving away too much.
Ever felt like its ok to give away the most precious thing but to regret it just later.
Ever felt like everything has reached to a stop.
My heart stopped beating, for a moment, I thought,
I lost you.

So he’s good-looking. Attitude. Smart. Mr-Cool-guy.
Every girl dreams to be with, every guy’s nightmare to compete with.
I was just lucky to even speak to him and looked at him straight in the eyes.
The intensity in his eyes gave me orgasms.
Every Friday is a blissful day. (:
But one problem, he have a dick. ^^

Auf Wiedersehen.

Already gone.

2009-10-17T01:12:00.000-07:00

I want you to know.
That it doesn't matter.
Where we take this road.
Someone's got to go.

Mon Tues Thurs will be pack with Visual Days.
We'll be recording a parody of 'Gee'.
Omg ! Details will be out soon.

In out in out in out.
The pain is slowly settling in.
Hold my hands tight, ma.
I'm here. (:
I'll be your morphine.
Her smile is simply amazing.

One step closer, you take a step back.

(Thanksmills;)

Auf Wiedersehen.

She;s hot.

2009-10-14T06:10:00.000-07:00

A; Thank you for everything.
Dinner;s on you next week. (:

Finally, she got it. She had the taste of virgin.
What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
Londons bridge is falling down, falling down.

So my PD started.
Work. Caffeine. Nicotine. Work. Work.
Dark rings, go away. Please.
Tak cantik nanti.

Bang Bang Bing Bang Boom Vacation !
I'm going to wear tudung cos' Haikal ♥ tudung girls.

Auf Wiedersehen.

Dis/Satisfied.

2009-10-06T11:16:00.000-07:00

It's like walking into a zombie town.
Their actions got slower by the second;
The air brings chill down my back;
Their clothes (???);
Everything seems wrong.
I don't feel belong.

Other than that;
Everything is Purr-fect.
With or Without you.
&This is it, B.

Auf Wiedersehen. fo reals.

LightsOut.

2009-10-04T00:32:00.000-07:00

The raya with the girls got cancelled.
): Really sorry, Lynn.
I'll buy you ice-scream, ok ?

Another start into the new sem.
Another group of friends.
Another set of modules to attend.
How exciting/Shoot me.

Tuesdays with Layhuh, Wednesdays with ________, Fridays with Syaz.
That's something to look forward to. :D

Fun's over, kids. Now pack your bags and go to school.
&Welcome back, Asweet♥
Now drown me in your thrilling stories. (:
You've been missed btw.

Auf Wiedersehens.

Thislovestrucktragedy.

2009-10-02T11:36:00.000-07:00

Feelings, please go away. Come again another day.

Lets close our eyes, pretend nothing ever happened.
Better off as Friends. Just Friends.
Try. Keep on trying, Eyerah.
A, come back now.
Sigh.

It amazes me how much I want you
We seem to fall out every time
And again when I feel that we're closing in
You say “Look I really can't pull this off, not this time'

What's with all these people?
Who are they?
What do they want?
I don't carry drugs in my pocket
Though you said it would bring us closer
I don't think you meant to each other
But to something else
Someone else.

Auf Wiedersehen.

Bittersweet memories.

2009-09-29T12:27:00.000-07:00

Van - $120
Memories made - $priceless

Oppa, oppa. (:

Today was purr-fect. Everyone attended the raya outing.
Never could I imagine that this simple outing turned out to be awesome.
Many thanks; Ism, Lays, Ayeen, Haikal, Ali, Milly, Mash, Riena, Afiq, Haja for today.
It was the best. ♥ ily guys.
11 people; 1 van; 9 beau-ti-fool houses; 42918149 memories captured in photos.

You, i do.
Now come back.
Oh your taste, its bittersweet.

Auf Wiedersehen

Escape.

2009-09-27T14:00:00.001-07:00

He's gone.
1 week and counting.
He's finally away.
Away to finally, miss him.
Please, be safe.

Auf Wiedersehen, A <3

Nega Mibda.

2009-09-27T10:46:00.003-07:00

Happy Birthday Princess Annika Sophia.
You are the shining star, shining brightly in the sky.
Even in the darkest night.
A year older.
Even the kids are growing fast. (: ILY.

Stop your heart that's turned away;
Accept this gaze that is looking at you;
Not even expecting love;
The ended story, the past story.

Auf Wiedersehen.

Slmat Hari Raya.

2009-09-26T12:40:00.000-07:00

It's the 23592 days of Raya and I am updating.
(: Just cos' my korean movie failed to download.
Everything is normal; so normal that it is disturbing.
Something have yet to come up.
My next last week of holiday is packed with outings;
Still I do not feel busy.

My house officially; closed.

That's how WE raya.
Auf Wiedersehen.

Sucked into.

2009-09-15T09:21:00.000-07:00

Rise and shine lazy-asses.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY. ILY muchy.
It was on the 13th anw :D

Can you believe I spent $50+ on Korean food.
I practically bought the ingredients.
My sister cooked Chap Chae and for me; Dok bok ki.
That's for buka (: yum.
This week would be Kimbap and Bibimpap.

Then I spent $30 on sushi with Milly.
He tempted me on having sushi for buka.
Thanks to you, I'd spent more than I'm supposed to.
No more.
Sorry bout the $10 which = $20 ):
Had dessert at god knows where the location is; choc waffle with blueberry choc chips ice cream.
I was craving for ice cream :D yum.

Beats tml folk; AGAIN.
I've been bingeing on Korean movies.
Swear to god a must do :D

Auf Wiedersehen.

Unforgettable memory.

2009-09-11T05:15:00.000-07:00

Got the blinds up. (:
No more curtains. Yay.
Now silverish-neat-straight curtains?

Helped Papa out in clearing all my unwanted stuffs.
I know right, like why would he helped.
By next hari raya, my room will be empty.
Every year, I am to clear them all.
Anw; washed the lampu kelap kelip. Now it's shining proud.

Tomorrow; the faggots BUKA together.
But due to my packed schedule, I doubt I could go.
Bugga.

Owells; Auf Wiedersehen.

Omo.

2009-09-10T06:09:00.000-07:00

Busy cleaning up the house.
I've yet to spend my moolas.
Soon. Soon. Free anyone ?

Honestly, I rather lie down on my bed watching koreans
than going out to play under the sun.
I am THAT lazy.

*Jaebeom, the leader of 2pm, dropped out of 2pm.
He went back to the USA.
He's not part of 2pm anymore.

Don't go. ):

Auf Wiedersehen.

Obsession.

2009-09-09T12:34:00.000-07:00

Nichkhun, 21. 2PM. ♥
The post title says it all.

&Just the way it is. Pasir Ris, F.
(:

My case is finally closed. Terima Kasih Ya Allah.
Finally, my mind is at ease.
Once is enough. Tq.

Decided to be free of IGs;
Break away from the IGs. Go away.
Koreans FTW.

Auf Wiedersehen.

I do.

2009-09-06T07:34:00.000-07:00

Will you marry me ?

Welcome to 'home', bik Titi. Yes, I got a maid/friend.

Nessie will be leaving soon. So many things to do. So little time.
Helped her pack her stuffs; crossdressing!^^

2pm<#

Auf Wiedersehen.

Just me and you.

2009-09-01T10:49:00.000-07:00

Your my strength, my everything.

Smile, ma. I'm here.

My days were taken by mama.
Every second of my life belongs to Her.
Her warmth and gentle touch is soothing enough to put me to sleep.
Right beside her.
Ilovemymother.

Thanks to those who have been there for me; Olynn,Syaz,Lays,Saf&Eden
You guys are <3

The tears I've shared is nothing compared to what she is facing.

Auf Wiedersehen.

I like you better GAY.

2009-08-25T10:06:00.000-07:00

Fasting month is here. Happy fasting muslims. (:

School's out, homos = No more waking up early/uts
\m/
The sun is shining, let's go out and play.
O O O icutmyhair O O O

E24C, it feels like just yesterday we all glued.
How time passes by so fast.
I hope that the memories made will last forever.
Don't forget to say HI, araso ? pah bo.♥♥
My korean-ified classmates are love.

Often in life,
we forget the things that should be remembered,
but remember the things we should forget.
That's life for you. Enjoy while it last.

ps/ today was fun as expected. tq.

Auf Wiedersehen.

I have a friend.

2009-08-19T10:07:00.000-07:00

Milly.

He loves to make beads. Random beads - PRO.
(: So, where do you get the bruises from?
My dear friend Milly.
Who can never be upset with you.
Loves to share 'tak-perlu' stories.
But we both don't seem to be able to recall.
Why and how we become friends?
Aw.

My ~~bitch~~.

E24C is history now.
Not just as yet.

Auf Wiedersehen.

korean-ified.

2009-08-16T20:15:00.000-07:00

DoubleSjunior, that's what we call ourselves.
Again, betrayer. (:

SS501 is coming to Singapore btw. December.
See me front row.
Jumping. Crying. Fainting. Dying. Stoning.
That's my only wish. Please grant it.
Skali clash with Thailand eco-trip eh. Siala.

So tomorrow is the day. The day to determine our talent in acting.
Yati will be up on stage. Complete with her nurse uniform.
Lights on. Action !
"No. I am only a nurse. I only do my work..."

Auf Wiedersehen.

norago

2009-08-14T10:01:00.000-07:00

Norago(it's you);
Trying hard to upload the song. Unsucessful. Fq.
Eco-Trail day camp - AWESOME !
Ran, Jump, Ran, Ran, Ran. Team Chuck Won. :D
<3 youbunch;

We(hada, nicole and I) did a 'fake-movie-poster' as our LAST presentation for DMA.
Uploading. Bloody wireless.
Amran promised a 'blanja', well he didn't.

You cannot teach what you don't have,
You cannot give what you don't have,
You cannot forgive what you can't forget,
But you can love,
even you are not being loved back.

Get well soon, S<3
Auf Wiedersehen.

frantic

2009-08-13T05:16:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Singapore. :D ♥
We, Bloco-rians performed LIVE at the platform. *Claps
So back to the old boring days like..
Everyone is like posting NDP peektures up on facebook.
TagTagTagTag.
(????)

Recently.
I am angry, annoyed, pissed.
Anyone can become angry, like me.
That is easy.
But to be angry with the right person,
to the right degree, at the right time,
for the right purpose, and in the right way;
that is NOT easy.
So please, stop making it seem like I am the felon.

Auf Wiedersehen.

words

2009-08-05T20:11:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most: Saying something and wishing you had not or saying nothing and wishing you had? For me, it would be saying nothing and wishing you had. For now, feels like it is better this way. Silence speaks a thousand words.

I feel so far away from you right now; And I so desperately want to be back in your orbit.

Auf Wiedersehen.

holding hands

2009-08-04T21:42:00.000-07:00

The air that surrounds us in this 4 walled room seems to be getting colder and colder each day. The air that I breathe seems to be choking me. You’re killing me. Sigh. What are you playing? You win, really. Come back, now. You can cos’ I miss you. -Seeking for her other half.

Lol mills; I've always wanted to upload this. This is me; Korean-ing :D tq<3

Auf Wiedersehen.

2009-08-03T20:15:00.000-07:00

True Friends last forever. What is it true?
I'm beginning to doubt it. To me, there are two kinds of friends: the ones who will help you move, and the ones who will help you move bodies. Unfortunately, I've yet to find one. I thought I've found it. I am weak, weaker than you thought. One who could not afford to do anything but watch in silent. Still remain.

Unmoved.

Auf Wiedersehen.

confusion

2009-08-02T20:15:00.000-07:00

Stuck in the middle.
Been in this position for too long.
I surrender. You win.
This is it, like it or not.
You show the real you, we get it.

Auf Wiedersehen.

2009-07-30T19:49:00.000-07:00

Oh, the lonely night. The cold wind blew through my ears whispering. "close your eyes"

Good night sweet dreams. Good morning bad dreams.

Auf Wiedersehen.

2009-07-29T09:54:00.000-07:00

It's 1am and I am awake.
Emma is sleeping and its her birthday. Well bitch didn't invite me.(pfft!) Congrats to Firdaus&Farzana <3affair. From strangers to friends to lovers. Loving someone is not easy. ILOVEYOU. The words that are pleasant to your ears. Words that could eat you up alive and spit you right back out. Words that you hardly hear. Words that could mean nothing but just words. I don't know what it feels like being in love, perhaps one day. Being in love is blissful no doubt. Something that everyone craves for, even myself. But love can be a total bitch. Who am I to say, well I've been there. &I hate you.
ps/im in love with my bestfriend.
Sometimes, it is hard just merely to be normal.

Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do.
But to hold it on when everyone else would understand if you fell apart,
that’s the true strength.

Auf Wiedersehen.

standard

2009-07-28T23:40:00.000-07:00

Dancing lights around me. My heart skipped a beat. What do I want? Is it possible? Turning back time. Tick Tock.

The happy days, bloco-ing. So I've been there for my Mummy. She's happy and I am happy. That is it.

Auf Wiedersehen.

2009-07-16T06:12:00.000-07:00

ma,
I know I have failed to be the best daughter you could ever imagine.
I am sorry for letting you down so many times.
I am sorry for always not being there for you when you needed me most.
I am sorry for the things I did towards you.
I am sorry for making you cry.
I am sorry, ma. I love you a lot.
You, make me laugh.
You, the best cooker in the whole wide world.
You, the one who will open the door when I come home late night.
You, always there to wipe my tears.
You, side me when I argue with papa.
You are the best mother one can ask for.
Without you, I will die.

It hurts for me to see you suffer.
I want to be strong for you.
But the more I see you, the more I will fall.
Please, don't go. I need you.
To be there when I fall.
To be there when I graduate.
To be there when I get married.
To be there to hold my first born baby.
To be there everyday of my life.
ily.

:D

2009-07-08T19:57:00.000-07:00

I PRAY YOU WON'T FADE AWAY.

Blogging for the sake of Safiah who asked if I stopped Blogging?

LIFE IS FILLED WITH KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO KOREAN BLOCO.

THANKYOU.
&pls homos, take care of your health.

Auf Wiedersehen.

tweeety.

2009-06-09T07:37:00.000-07:00

Twit.Twit.Twit.
That's up right now. Like as tho people really care what you tweet bout'.
Pfft.

On Cloud Nine
WOAH ! Pa ra la la la la la la !
Load of outings. Had a blast with the girls/guys/trannies/family.
Fireflies dancing in the air.
Past friends found. New friends lost.
Load of pictures to be uploaded.
Soon.

Crushed
It's over.
To the sinner, dreamer is taken.
As everything comes to a stop.
The world crumbles around me.
Those words said hit me like a bomb exploded within.
I feel numb. Maybe I am channel-ed to this feeling.
Such a Liar. I loved a Liar.

The same girl who laughs and talks a lot and seems very happy is also the girl who may cry herself to sleep/ Auf Wiedersehen.

reasons.

2009-05-22T08:25:00.000-07:00

I LOST MY EFFING PHONE. SO DO PLEASE REMEMBER TO DROP YOUR NAME AND CONTACT. (:

Beautiful house. Ugly family.
What does this mean ?
Contrast.

Thoughts are playing with my head.
Messing with my feelings.
Can I just click pause?

What options am I left with?
Saving you.

Friends; what are you doing?
Trying to please everyone is tiring.
Fuckq. I surrender.
Totally fried beyond recognition.
So tired, a temporary coma would be nice.

People drain me, even the closest of friends, and I find loneliness to be the best state in the union to live in.
(:

Auf Wiedersehen.

wind

2009-04-30T11:24:00.000-07:00

Before I start blabbering,
School was awesome. I came late to school like twice.
Ok liar. Thrice.
So far so good. Class is great.
I am hoping for them to be more er comfortable ?
Idk. That;s how we STA-ians roll I guess.

So SLA fiesta began like 2 days back.
Beats Encore have attracted at least a hundred plus year1's.
Go beats! and BF, please ah. Behave.
Its so cool to have the VP as your BF. I feel SAFE.

Again, love is not on my side.
That just sucks.
So you decided to sail away.
Into the grey sky morning.
Now I'm here to stay.
God, love can be so boring.
This heart of stone will sing till it dies.

ps; I really miss W45A, W16J <3
pss; I really do love my faggots and syaz <34

Auf Wiedersehen.

ricola.

2009-04-22T09:27:00.000-07:00

I didn't go school. Shit.
Skipped. Eyes too lazy to open.
Anw; I did go to school for Beats. Yes, Beats Encore.
Met up with them at TRCC cafe.
I was late; I swear to god entering the room is like entering hell.
All eyes at you. Gulp.
No place in Beats that's fo' shure.

Swear to god it was unnecessary.
Everything is a blur.
The memories, the pain, the taste, the status.
Everything was a blur.
You are a blur.

Oh!A, come hear me. <3
P; let's hang out with tic-tac. :D Looking forward.
SOON, pseesh.

Auf Wiedersehen.

yag.yag.yag.

2009-04-20T07:54:00.000-07:00

Your touch is so magic to me
The strangest things can happen
The way that you react to me
I wanna do something you can’t imagine
Imagine if there was a million me’s talking sexy to you like that
You think you can handle, boy
If I give you my squeeze and I need you to push it right back

Him = high. I am getting high of him.
My heart skips 2 beats.
Your my sweet suckling midnight candy.
Clock's ticking. I am to sleep.
But no. Blog first.

Ok pictures up, fags. shishaII
jug after jug after jug;ice mint.

~~not high~~

camhorrors. impersonation of lat.

check out my nigger.

this is impromptu; courts. syed&his mac.

That's about it.
I swear to god. Dicks are the reason why I am still awake.
Pseesh.

Auf Wiedersehen.

brain dead.

2009-04-19T20:31:00.000-07:00

Brain Dead. Teeeeeeeet.

So dead. Just not working.
Help. SOS. Just help.
This is what school do to you.
Do not go to school.
Quit.
Go home and sleep.

Syaz, fuck you.
Auf Wiedersehen.

re-unite.

2009-04-19T07:58:00.000-07:00

I'll do anything to have you as my man.

For the first time after so long,
I saw her. Sitting under the block smiling shyly.
The sun shining on her blond-ish hair.
Her obsession with make-up and appearance.
Sense of fashion.
Remains.
Us is a change.
Can't lie that I don't miss her. Yes I do.
Fandi; Tc. Pump those muscles up. Ha.

So had dinner with my relatives.
Dad actually 'bo' everyone.
Since it's his bday, they too were expecting for him to pay.
Total of $400++ I guess. Shit.
$$.$$
I am bloated for now. I felt guilty.
I fucking ate.

School's IN tomorrow.
Shit. Just shit.
How ?

I miss him. Oh!A. So much. ):
Seeing your face again will make my everyday.
And Rosanne, bitch. Go for it. (:
Stupid girl.

Auf Wiedersehen.

the bestfriend.

2009-04-18T14:06:00.000-07:00

Twitter; Confusing-ly annoying but addictive.
I swear.

She's a beautiful girl, she's a beautiful girl.
- Kt Tunstall

I watched Bride Wars.
Brought me to a whole new level in believing bout' true friendships.
She could be anywhere.
Maybe, beside me.
Yes, she exist.
Another good reason as to treasure this relationship which I, We, 've been holding on.
Seeing how We are handling it; I foresee light and laughter.
Smiles.
I want you to be by my side. Always. Forever. Promise ?
Selfish I am, you picked me. Ha.

Anw; HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DEEVIYA WHO TURNED 18 on the 18th. Wow.
Btw; She sucks as a beautician. She's pretty much agressive.
Ok, your legal for anything now; even sex. Tempting. Ha.
And not forgetting, HAPPY EX-BIRTHDAY TO FARZLYANA(ilikeit) WHO TURNED 21 on the 12th.

Millay is annoying and so is Haikal.
Millay the millimeter dick licker picker kisser.
IN YOUR FACE.

My life doesn't have to be stored in pictures, it's in my head.
Just lazy larh, shibai.
Auf Wiedersehen.

friends foes and so much more.

2009-04-17T12:19:00.000-07:00

ARIES - The Daredevil
Energetic. Adventurous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge.... EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse. (Easily angered.) Lively, passionate, and sharp wit. Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical.. Courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic.

True enough?

And the frienship was questioned ?
Exclaimation and question marks are running through my head.
It was all blurry.
I winced to every thought of it.
That will cost me.
Strange how an innocent formed relationship caused a lot?

Ok. I know this hatred won;t last long.
Well here's for you both STILL,
f u c k y o u. _|_
to be ~~continued~~. zzz.

Oh; let me strip you down naked you yummy brazilian cocoa bar.

Auf Wiedersehen.

a little bit in love with you.

2009-04-16T04:27:00.000-07:00

Ah; 'Love' striked me hard again this time.
It found its way to me. It managed to get through me.
What may seem impossible is possible.
I welcomed it. I liked it. Pretty much 99.9% of it.
So I met a boy. A living dick.
Believe it or not. He could just be the cure to my gay-ism.
Never could I imagine allowing myself to fall easily again.
But I did; I fell deep. Almost impossible to regain myself.
Virgo + Aries = ♥

Random self-thoughts; one day, I'll be the best daughter, sister, cousin, aunty, friend, wife and mostly mom.

Funny how one;s touch could change one;s life completely.
The birth of Haziq changed me entirely.
He brought light in my life, his touch made me think how real he is.
But one incident made me snapped out of my fantasy.
My life changed instantaneously. Boy; it did.
I feel rejuvenated. IAMEYERAH.

School's starting next week. 20.04.09
Not looking-forward. I'm still stuck in my world.
No intentions of ever getting out of it.
Oh wells; I'm sure it's not going to be that bad.
Got my fingers crossed on that.
One thing for sure; Syazana Bte Rafid. Ok one thing to look forward to.
Just like school days. Funny how we didn't meet during school hols.
Imy.

For the record; friends are breaking.
My heart's aching.
I miss my Courts friends. I miss my job. I miss him.
^Hold on Nadhirah. A deek will continue being a deek.
That's something for you.
Just be patient.

Auf Wiedersehen.

just another day. 22nd march.

2009-03-24T05:29:00.001-07:00

funny how the least expected people wish you on your birthday but the MOST expected ones didnt even bother.

especially the one whom you shared everything with, slept on the same bed, wear the same clothes and get mistaken by strangers that we are twins. who; my sister.

guess how i spend my birthday ?
in tears. not tears of joy but tears of disappointment.

thanks very much to kimo who came to courts and surprised me with a slice of mango cake and a candle on it :D thank you so much. ive known you for months but its like as though ive known you for years. thanks for accompanying me on my bday.

thank you everyone for the presents and bday wishes. i know this is overdue but hey its the thought that counts isnt it ? ilyguys.

amazing brunette.

2009-03-02T04:13:00.000-08:00

hello hello bello.
i feel excited just logging in to this blogger thing.
like a virgin. :D
anyhoo, i am busy working my ass at obrien's courts megastore.
had many friends come by and making obriens seem popular at courts ?

many thanks to kimo who saved me from this guy who tried to court me ?
euw.
lol yes kimo do look like a guy :D
come by again soon pretty pls.

&met V at obriens; UOB. shes working like only from 11am - 330pm.
pathetic. but hey at least i get to see her.
shes a head turn. for me. lol. oh wells till then;
cya soon no lifers.

But Im not, not sure,
Not too sure how it feels
To handle every day
And I miss you love

Make room for the prey
cause Im coming in
With what I wanna say but
Its gonna hurt
And I love the pain
A breeding ground for hate but...

Im not, not sure,
Not too sure how it feels
To handle everyday
Like the one that just past
In the crowds of all the people

Remember today
Ive no respect for you
And I miss you love
And I miss use love

Auf Wiedersehen.

singing birds

2009-01-29T09:10:00.000-08:00

The color of gold; the color of crystal.
The sight leaves me breathless, I'm amazed.
What trait is this?
Why're there so much of pride?
What secret is it..How will I say it?

To be honest; life is moving like a speed of light.
I don't even have the time to absorb it as yet.
What could I say, life's been good. Amazing. Splendid.
I miss my friends oh so dearly. Wondering what the fags are up to now.
My obsession is killing my thoughts every second. That's fo sure.
Will update more. Pfft. Who bothers anyway. (:
&fuck tagged.
Aku masih nak pergi UK. Jom ah geng. Pergi sama-sama. HAHA !

Auf Wiedersehen.

fork and the spoon

2009-01-22T06:29:00.000-08:00

you, you made me feel again.

another day, another brand new class with fresh new faces.
it was W45A, not W16J.
you may not be like my previous sem. classmates.
but nevertheless, we bond-ed. we did.
i made friends not with them, but with the facis.
hopefully the neighbour-boy too, W16M.
W16J; you guys taught me the whole meaning of life.
showed me the right path - going to school on time and not missing UTs
(having a SON in the class paid off)
your booming laughter reverberated the hallway
filling the atmosphere with serenity.
there's not a day when i ever regretted stepping into the class.
excluding the times when theres not greeting. pfft.
other than that, you guys are awesome.
thank you for the blanja, joy, knowledge and slaps. (:

oh Angel, what's going to happen to you without me by your side. be safe.

a proud mom.

2009-01-17T07:22:00.000-08:00

the pain, the hospital, the 9 months, the burden.
ah worth it oh! so worth it. - she said.

welcome muhammad haziq; ily♥

on that starry night;
i went home floating on a cloud.
what a magical feeling.
is THAT love? i doubt so.

oh the jealousy. unbearable.
what a torture.

rewind pause and play.

thoughts in your head.

2009-01-10T10:33:00.000-08:00

I like everything I see in you.
I like the way you make me giggle with your witty jokes.
I like it more when you whisper in my ear.
I especially like most when you pull me closer to you.
The smiles, sun, music; what a perfect day.
How I wish it will never end.

You make me high, oh so high each day.
Can I keep you in me?

Auf Wiedersehen.

cotton candy with you.

2009-01-06T21:59:00.000-08:00

never take pics at her house. heh

&the clock strikes midnight.

&it never stops.

cave women supposedly.

wanchibai♥

blearghhh.

in exchange.

mr.mash

nina sabrina.

the pathetic.

it was raining heavily.

she was realling stripping♥ turn-d on much.

Auf Wiedersehen.

lights off

2009-01-06T05:27:00.000-08:00

First of all, happy new year (:
Another full year ahead.
A start of something new at least.

Start the ignition, let's go.

New year was fun, I guess.
Well at least its safe to say it was indeed fun.
After standing outside of Azzucar for 30 minutes or PLUS.
Well obviously the guys are not 23 right. Pfft.
Got in around 11.40pm. Dance, drink, dance, bare-footed, drink.
HAPPY NEW YEAR. Thanks Plaik; for the champagne (:

IT was indeed a good year, 2008.
A year filled with memories. ~~Good~~/Bad
Tend to stick to the good ones though.
Or maybe not. Whatever it is;
I welcome 2009 with open arms.
Honestly, let bygones be bygones.
Im Ira, you?

I lit a candle for you last 3 years,
The flame grew stronger each day.
But it died one day.
Oh, the agony, scarred deep.
Deeper than I thought it will be.
How foolish I was,
For the wind blew it. F.

Pictures soon. FuckWireless.

Auf Wiedersehen.

karma is a bitch.

2008-12-30T07:25:00.000-08:00

Karma is an effing BITCH.
Couldn't agree with this line any better.
Now, I realised what you went through.
The indescribable mixed feelings that is swirling in me.
I felt it, to be honest, it does hurt, that too like a bitch.
Never did I notice the changes till' now.
Someone once told me, people change for the best.
They are wrong, so wrong.
The blame is on me, for not being the strong one.
To let you slip by my hands easily.
Careless I was, you deserved it.
Savor the happenings in your life while you can.
All I want, you to be happy with w/o me.

I hope one day, you will wake up like how I did.
Losing you again is something I will not risk.

Mother,
Ill stay by your side even if you dont want me to.
You are my priority. Always.
Every second spent with you seems magical.
Never did I expect myself to be this patient.
OR spending my holidays with you.
Because I know, at the end of the day/week,
It is all worth it.
Putting a smile on your face,
Hearing your laughter across the room,
I finally feel at ease.
I promised, Ill wipe those tears.♥

Enigma.

2008-12-25T05:40:00.000-08:00

So let go, jump in
Oh well, whatcha waiting for
It's alright cause there's beauty in the breakdown
So let go, just get in
Oh, it's so amazing here
It's alright cause there's beauty in the breakdown.

Will be on hiatus again.
Shutting myself off from all, temporarily.
Things are fucking me upside down.
Need to find answers for myself.
Ill call you soon, Sy. (: Tc for now.
♥

Auf Wiedersehen.

a rare gem.

2008-12-24T09:41:00.000-08:00

its kinda too early, yea? but fuckkit;

1. get/date an ENGLISH boyfriend, pretty pls
2. clothes, pls
3. a hair-cut, snip-snip
4. major weight loss, thankq
5. IG. (: i♥BE. LOLZXZX !
6. complete the whole 40 points by 2nd year, tsktsk
7. reduction of alcohols &nicotine, bleargh
8. spend Xtra more time with family [if possible]
9. .....

Eat to live not live to eat. If they can do it, so can you?
Oh brother, action speaks louder than words. TRUE.
Sick of watching this stick-thin girls in my screen.
Lying down on my bed feeling un-beautiful.
Keep telling myself, 'you can do it. yes you can. get him/her'
In the end, nothing. Zero. Failure yet again.
Im tired of feeling sorry for myself.
And hearing those endless jokes inflicted on me.
'wake up, and realise who you are'
Stop living in denial.
It;s time for you to do something about it.
Welcome to the 21st century bi-atch.
Like it or not. Stick is the new black. Pfft.
O, FYI;
If you feel hungry, smoke a fag or drink coffee. WTF RIGHT.
Ok, i need anti-depressing pills. Now. (:

Hello homos;
The only fun day was when i went st james with Syaz and Mel.
(i think i like him, minah)
The other days are pretty much mundane.
Surprised i even made it to xmas day.
I tot i'd die. Of boredom.
Im currently am stuck between gg/not gg. Homeclub.
I want to go BUT my parents.
You see, parents are always in the way of good things that come by once in a blue moon like partay-ay-ay.
Am i exaggerating ?
Cos if i am, Lovely.
Why oh Why. Well, you know what. Rebel.
Aw, im growing up so fast and i dont have enough balls to do that.
Give me a sign. I'll wait till tomorrow morning.
'MA ! Can i go out today?' We shall see.
Well pictures after the hop. (: Emma like to say jump. Ok, shut it.

the faggots

this was like nabil's sis wedding? the attack of the Froggies.

KL trip with the Freakshow.

showing IT off.

HO HO HO, hilman danish;

ZXZXOMG ! I could only take 1 of it.

This is the result of exxessive intake of caffeine.

Yes yes girls, beautify to seduci-fy.

St' James, baybee.

Aw, pretty.

'Where's that bitch !'

And your xmas gift, this is me pretty much a cool-luzah,

WTF WAS I THINKING. I oh!solove MY HAIR HERE THO. Gahhh.

Auf Wiedersehen.

happy holidays, b-ches

2008-12-20T08:46:00.000-08:00

after watching countless times of twilight and a walk to remember
shedding gallons amount of tears
falling in love is the last thing i want to do right now.
the kind of love that i seek for is non-existence
love is everlasting and magical
but that is in the movies, what bout' reality?
it only happens in movies. pfft.
made me realised that it is impossible to fall in love with a good-looking romantic boy here
im clinging on to a hope
a hope which is pretty much nothing.
that just shows how pathetic i am right now.

auf wiedersehen.

good night

2008-12-04T18:38:00.000-08:00

are you really that tired ? close your eyes. good night, you. ill be here singing you the lullaby till your asleep. and making sure that no baddies bully you. (:

time is not a factor,
your heart is all that matters.

i wish you well and overflow-ing happiness and love xoxo

just for the record, syaz cut-ed her hair. short and mafia-ish. not.

auf wiedersehen.

accidentally in love

2008-11-30T08:59:00.000-08:00

love; go away. just go. like the world slows down, but my heart is fast right now. i know this is the part where the end starts.

Thurs.
i finally went out with my classmates. pathetic enough; airport; T3. owow ! now everybody with me, jump. pfft. i am now inspired to be a pilot. what you think ? (:

Fri.
last min BBQ pit at pasir ris. man's supposedly farewell-friends-im-off-to-ns bbq. went over to his house, helped out with the food while my ears bled uncomfortably hearing nabil singing. and father(man's dad) was mean, he called me ECHO ! owells; ahmad, 15 as usual ohso!adorable but annoying. brothers. every single faggot attended, <3. we didnt get wasted on that day due to personal experiences. burden to all. not good. &so drank a cup or three, bacardi i think. smoked the whole smokey-night away. i kissed a girl and i liked it.

unexpected tingling feeling rush up to my head.

dancing, laughing the night away

2008-11-23T22:58:00.000-08:00

i love them more !
im not insecure of my sexual identity, i love girls ! (:

the strange but happy feeling of logging in to the net is dying. whatever that means. &&just so you guys know, i got my beads done with Angel last friday. we did it with the help of deeviya accompanied by her oh!so emo songs. Angel was a pretty much of a clumz. ur still adorable tho. (: i spent my weekend with families; syaz's and mine<3 it was lovely. happy 11th birthday, hilda liyana.

&thanks for the card. i hope the song i sang cleared your doubts and start loving it !, zal. plain white t's - 1234. HAHA i tried.

let the pic's do the talking tho they can't really talk but heck. i can't be bothered. really. learn to accept, be-yotch. im like finally out from hiding under the stone. pfft.

wellfuckeuw.

♥her

the fanateeq#1

the fanateeq#2

the nenek

yours;truly.

ye, thats bout it.
auf wiedersehen

just plug in.

2008-11-14T09:34:00.000-08:00

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even

Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even, even no

What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you
what am I suppose to say when i'm all choked up and you're OK
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop me bleeding
Cos she moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks no it dont break even

You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame
Now I'm tryna make sence of what little remains
Cos you left with no love, with no love to my name

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a god i don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even
No it don't break, no it dont break even, no.

i, finally am ready to raise the white flag. am i?

why so gay?

2008-11-13T22:58:00.000-08:00

Angel says:
VB = CB
Angel says:
so sensititve for what
Angel says:
healthy can alr
Angel says:
hahah

can this girl get any cuter ? she is a framed watercolor painting on mondays. she is the sunshine of the shade on tuesdays. she is sardines and cake for tea on wednesdays. she is funny extra teeth that will have to come out before long on thursdays. she make numbers fun on fridays. she is dancing classes on saturday mornings when we are not out to play. she is a smile everyday. ((:

ps; told you im going to have an entry bout you, my oh!sopretty-stalker, Angel.

the girl who never wants to be alone.

2008-11-12T19:46:00.000-08:00

confusion.

congratulations to anban raven<3 for finally completing his o's. on that day itself; went high-ing with them at pasir ris beach; emma, syaz, anban, man, wan. (: everyday, i love you MORE and MORE. pff-t. &thanks to that mcD dude who gave me this classic look when i asked for 6 empty cups. qutenerd((:

lol. no comments.

angel;we decided to make our own beads. looking forward to the days. the long wait of owning my own beads collection is soon to be over. thanks, bitch. you've been awesome.
syazana<3;you mofo ! learn to self-control. tsktsk. nonsense eh, die.
dee;i guess we need a break from each other. too much of you results to obsession.
W16J;lets continue play ball. fiq; u watch out ah;tall person. OLEEEE !

randomshotswiththewhores.

self-cut.loser

angel hates this pic somehow. freak.

i don't wanna be the girl who has to fill the silence. the quiet scares me cause it screams the truth. i cant keep on running away from the truth. out of breath, out of time, out of topic. how much i miss us, more like you, is beyond words. just being around you with those dark, dark, dark creatures surrounding you, creeps me. so close yet so far. why do I feel that this party's over?

stay love; cos i missyoueversomuch.

im still a rock star.

2008-11-08T07:30:00.000-08:00

i guess i just lost my girlfriend;
i don;t know where she went (((:

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY VEEKEE LOVE ! yes; she's officially legal. we,W45A-ians were supposed to celebrate it yesterday. instead, she herself didn't turn up and so did the planner, samuel. awesome eh ? we,1/7 of W45A turned up and head down to cityhall to watch this dance competition thing because mash's sister dance. yes and won third. fee's gf won second. wow ! i won first. durh. congrats. so basically, the outing was rather disappointing.

i miss muhd hanafi bin bohari. im chatting with him right now so like the missing part passed already but who cares. as annoying and irritating he is in everyone eyes, to me he is adorable. he may seem childish and immature, i still love him the way he is. never fail to amuse me with his stupidity. man u kalah ! man u kalah ! man u kalah ! =D arsenal mng ! arsenal mng ! =D

LiL Fee ft Dopestyler says:
((:
LiL Fee ft Dopestyler says:
you're still wimme in my heart waddd((:

(macam kepahaman!)

if i were a boy, i swear id be a better man. you should know i was just messing with you, rizal. ily. now cmon, smile. im sorry. didnt mean what i said and you should know me best.

can my day get any better than this?

kisses your soft lips underneath the starry night.

can i have this dance?

2008-11-06T06:14:00.000-08:00

Take my hand, take a breath
Pull me close and take one step,
Keep your eyes locked on mine,
And let the music be your guide.

when I speak, you turn around and saying not much is saying a lot.
so, let the eyes do the talking as for silence speaks a thousand words.

promise me;

2008-11-05T21:44:00.000-08:00

not really good at saying goodbyes but here it is; ((:

thank you hiak-dush for everything. we've been there for each other since day 1(i think). i swear, not a day i regret ever having you guys in my group. we may have gone through the ups and the many downs, but i still love you guys because i know at the end of the day, we will forgive and forget. i mean what's a team without all that, right? and now, the journey ends here, we made it ! we did it ! good job. no doubt i had fun being a surdo-ist with hafiz ((: do not forget each other at least ok? dont be a bitch even if you are one. nyah. one thing for shure, I HAD FUN PERFOMING !

amelia; your awesome. thanks for taking over the role. you;ve been through a lot. thanks for making us work our asses. (:
aiman; the speaking matrep (: enjoyed irritating the fuck out of you. esp the floating cap. lolz
ain; lol. random boob-grabber. sucha pretty girl who cries when putting on eyeliner
andika; you make me laugh for no reason. rock on. the awesome surdo partner.
farhad; the hottie in my team. grrrr. your semangat and i admire that. (: jia yo.
hafiz; ahh ! the best of the best ! HAHAHAHAH you rock la eh. enough said. you will be missed teddy bear. irritatingly funny with your annoying jokes esp when eating.
hajar; the nonsense girl. the other tua. ((: pandai eh sembunyi. the random ((:
haikal; i sent you an email, so you should know what i want to say to you, yea?
nanaaaa; kaulaa yang paling aku syg ((: cute nk mampos tapi tk cute uh when u self-praise. that;s just crap.
saliha; alala, the hello kitty and the demander. thanks for not giving up on us (:

ily guys so much that it hurts to face the fact that we are no long hiakdush but more of BEATS ENCORE. but i hope we will never die in the heart. make sense ? NOT?

maman will always be remembered

rock on bitches. HIAKDUSH !!!

the caller

2008-11-01T10:42:00.000-07:00

currently am traumatised after the call at 1.25am; from a drunkard that is. syazana.

despite knowing her poor ability in handling alcoholic drinks, they offered her vodka. 3 cups some more. so what do you get; 3 cups of vodka + syazana = ______ (do the maths) you don't want to know what she asked, said to me. ishqishq.

is it wrong to seek for happiness ? to finally feel secure being around that someone ? or perhaps to finally being able to move away from where you stood. as much as you wanted to stay, moving ahead seems to be the only way. tho your smell still lingers within, moving away from you is the smartest thing. right here, right now, it is easier said than done. but who am i kidding, only my mind playing with my feelings. it may seem easy in your eyes, the truth is, its the hardest thing that ever lies. all i ever wanted was for you to be happy, why couldn't you ever thought the same for me? now that she have won your heart, the feelings we had grew apart. reminiscing back to those times that we shared, never once would i want to forget. those 3 words that you used to whisper in my ears, were they for reals? if it is, you ought to know theres more to me than meets the eye. those words that you said may mean nothing to you, but as much as i was hurt, some things are better left unsaid. i can't hide my tears any longer, it will not make me any stronger. the relationship that we shared is unpredictable, understanding you may seem impossible. sometimes i wonder, if Us really exist? the book ends here, therefore a new chapter unfold. you and i are history, but you and her are mystery. so here we are, embarking into a new journey, as for i, will cherish those memories. ((:

the random.

you are my best friend,
my very best friend,
you make me happy,
everyday,
you share your great snacks,
you share your best toys,
so please don't take
my best friend away. ily, syazana.

not that easy

2008-10-30T02:27:00.000-07:00

you got beats II - 6pm, tuesday TRCC studio, RP (: come come come ! it's free pfft.

syaz came back from kuala lumpur. finally. the plans we made to go out on thurs was cancelled due to a kenduri which i have to go. bummer i know. i did cancelled everything with my classmates to go one degree. sorry, gula-gula. i know your mad, next time perhaps? after tuesday, im freee ((: now smile.

yesterday, i had my beats practice which ends at 6pm 1hr extra. 13 mins late; 1 dollar. pfft. my group played pretty well ! im so syke for tml's full dress rehearsal. the last day of rehearsing before the 'concert' itself. im going to wear red polo tee which i bought at hang-ten for 12 bucks. hang ten i know right, hang urself ! met up with the faggots at soccer court there. talked to rizz dood bout everything. smiles for you dood.

something's missing. but what is it? what's in you that is lacking? im thankful for your countless gifts and love that you have been showering. im a greedy girl, somehow that itself is not enough for me. sorry, seb. you wanted me to change, yes i am but somehow it takes time. will you still be there waiting patiently under the block like you used to until ive changed? selfish.

what are you most afraid of? LOVE. love is a strange thing. it can be the most amazing feeling in the world, or it can really hurt, but in the end love is something most, if not all of us, will face or go through. there are many different ways to love someone, i guess mine is too complicated. i thought i was in love. not. i lost it. careless.

at the end of the day, i know i will be blissed because ive learnt to accept and give. ive learnt to treasure and to let go. maybe now, it's time to let go of what ive held on for so long, hope. hope of seeking. ((:

lol; the invention of webcams and ways of abusing it.

toodles.

im a vampire

2008-10-25T07:47:00.000-07:00

(: song = <3 between 2 homos.
and so i blog after many days. a part of me went missing so i seek out for it. i found it. but came back with empty hands. disappointed ? you tell me.

"morning my sleepy-head. im back from camp till mon. looking forward to see you."
yawns to those serving for the nation. not a big fan. but yet again. frustrated yet smiling ((:

ive been sick and im proud to say that im spreading it pretty well. dee got sick. emma got sick. who else ?! i swear to god i sound like bapok. major turn off. i actually went back to school at 4pm. obviously i did not go to school. who gives a toto bout maths. i enjoyed playing CS and getting thrashed. seriously. my god ! hell jyeah ! bloody jon grant ! die bots bots !

i noticed that people are out of luck in love. note-to-self never be afraid to take the risk; go for it if not you will regret it. unless your a hottie -.- it's dunzo for emma and ewan. lesson learnt; there are other fishermen out there who deserves you. trust me. so smile, sis. ily tho you guys look cute for two ugly people. (:

school is awesome. i totally love my class W16J. noisy bunch of homos. awesome people with awesome spirits. raj annoying gay basterd ticky ticky my ass ! angel and her exposed legs ! mum and her orgasmic voice ! shijie and his geekiness (: taufiq and his imitation of jason mraz ! hafiz and his MR SHL shit ! good luck tho. i know you can bribe them. *winks*

beats encore; hiakdush ! really you guys improved a lot and congratulations to those who made it for the finale ! like layhuh, jaja and dots dots dots ((: rock on guys long live hiakdush.

syazanasyg; be strong. ill support you and ill respect your decision made. trust me you too will find happiness and the joy of giving and accepting love.

pictures leceh uh. nanti2. (:
toodles.

drink drink

2008-10-13T21:47:00.001-07:00

and so i did extension (: blue and blonde. the blonde like krook krook uh cos i already have like my blonde streaks from the previous dye. the blue like cannot be seen. more of krookek. but im loving it. my mother actually noticed it<3 awww. sweeeeeeet. yesssa thursday, girls, lets go drinking. woo ! oo i bought dresses. altogether 60 bucks. my eyes ! d$$.$$b =D

p.s pot is a biatch.

f&n makes you bloat. nyehehe

plaited hair

2008-10-11T10:25:00.000-07:00

live your life for no one but yourself. never stop living for anyone. it's not worth it. (: or is it? it's your choice.

im glad to make new friends this week. they are awesome people. but sorry hafiz for not coming over to your open house which is located at bloody tanjong pagar. my god. i can just imagine me being lost, there, calling you, crying. you wouldnt want that, would you? sorry, i shall make it up to you on mon, fish n chips perhaps? smiles for you.

so, received 24 dollars for today, thanks west-siders for popping by. im so saving for extensions la omg-awd. monday, shall go and buy hiakdush stuffs. nyeheheh. i want colored ones puhlease. ok im cold and bloody dee, sleep sleep sleep ! i miss fags. the urge to shop is #%^*$@!#%^&*@ overrated.
more pics lurh. yawnsss.

feeling2 uh in a in the club kind of video scenes.

the eye problem.

sup my nigga.

2 fags being gay.

thats ZHOU !! the cina-man. he promised to give us free food the next time we go shisha.

self-homo-uncool-pic(:fuckeuw.

paper chaser.

selamathariraya

2008-10-10T11:37:00.000-07:00

hai selamat hari raya. i know its like so basi and shit, but i dont care.

skipped school and decided to go jalan-jalan raya with the fags. (: they looked good with the baju kurung, samping and songkok. faris looked like a groom. i swear to god. it was nabil's the botak birthday. so happy birthday to you, fag.

"pengecut gak eh kau. tak kusangka. ni la budak-budak SK- semangat kuat. sembaranggg ah budak baru nak masuk 18" smiles for nabil bin razak, finally 18. have fun clubbing(finally).

we collected a pathetic sum of 22 dollars. but that's not the main point here. pfft. the semangat to raya is the main point. we went 7 houses i think. more pfft-ing. first house, nabil last house, sulaiman. reached his house at 11. sat, ate, lepak-ed at this green patch area. went off at 2 with syazana and there goes my 8 bucks. ): bloody cab fare, extra charge 1.70 eh. WTF ! nonsense bullcrap rubbish.

im loving and appreciating them more each day. they are the ones ive been seeking for the past few days. HAHAH never fail to crack me up with the fart sounds and majid being a doofuz which he already is. acap aka T.I wannabe; thanks ah eh ! tangan aku blue-black. smiles for syaz (: <3aqil.

rizz dood; go baxter ok ? we go shopping and cam-whore together2. hopefully im free today. my body's aching, my foot hurts ): omg-awd. kill me.

faggots;nabil,man,hafeez-tech,rizz,wan,haikal,majid,acap,taufiq,faris,athirah,syaz,me(:

acap's house

RETARDS

syazana's house taken by her brudda

fiq-'siala majid! die betul2 jilat siol!' aha lol

'alamak tak namapak jubs' -.-

ahahaha another day with fags; next week (: prepare to get a knock from us, dunmanites.
toodles.

homos

2008-10-09T08:27:00.000-07:00

i guess ive been missing out on who my real friends are. (: ily guys,syaz burn zal, mallie. thanks for the most enjoyable day filled with laughter, smoke and drinks. heh heh. you are just what i need. HAHAHAHHAHA ! MOFOS.

&so didnt go to town as planned. met zhou AGAIN. he and his broken english = qute. mallie came later after being FOUND near the masjid there. stupid. we then went to blue jazz to drink. i dont know why the sudden urge to get myself drunk but yea we did. drank graveyard. one sip of that motherfucker will bring you high up in the sky. (: poor guys have to take care of us. and mallie !!! MY RINGG ! jees woman. so it ended with a long journey ride home by bus squeezey me.

oh ya classmates; thanks eh. enjoyed the ride mans, raju kumar singh ! had the ride of my life with a helmet on my head which acts as the stirring wheel and raj hands as the stirrer. sheesh. major headache i tell you. thanks to amat for his scented helmet. nyaha.

&so sebby babe went to NS. qute. stop whining and just do your days there. have fun bathing nekked with the rest of the deekies, waking up early, being botak. (: sweets.

toodles.

Love shits in your face sometimes.

2008-10-08T08:39:00.000-07:00

i'm lost and stranded. hoping that you would seek me out, but instead, you never did. the thought of you still linger in me, but what am i to do? should i be the seeker or hider ?

andmummy;pleasestaystrong
iwilltryhardtostaystrongforyou.
illbethereforyou.
iloveyou.
thoiseldomshowit,ido.
icantaffordtoloseyou.
youreverythingtome.
losingyouislikelosingeverything.
<3ily.

the picture has now faded.

being in love

2008-10-06T01:13:00.000-07:00

its funny to think that you are in love but on second thought you are not. just the thought of it brings shiver down my spine. love is a strong word. the feeling of it is unexplainable. its like popcorns popping when heated, fireworks sparks when litted. its amazing. (: the joy of being in love is you being happy but i dont know why im not. maybe cos im not. HAHAHAHAHA !

ok this post is wasted.

fly jack;

2008-10-04T08:40:00.000-07:00

the bitterest tears shed over the graves are for the words left unsaid and deeds left undone.

imy antilah<3 i really do.

hari raya is not like how it was before for my whole family. the number of people passing on to the other world is increasing each year. i could not afford to go through it again. losing one is like losing everything. but i have my family to count on. tho we rarely meet and chat; you guys are my air that i breathe.

and so first day, like any other first day on hari raya, nek bibah, ibu's, mak's, jungle and i cant remember. we all looked fabulous. i had a bad hair day sadly. so bad i had to tie it up the whole day. ANNOYING ! and my lil niece of mine just had to tear my 550 bucks worth of baju kebaya. owells; kids. thank god i love kids. tsk. collected a few, eat a lot. (: oh btw; syazana's sister gave birth to a baby boy named aqil syazwan. japanese looking. qute. can i have a bay-bee, mother?

then there;s sch the next day, how awesome. celebrated yy's belated birthday. guys carried him all the way to the boy's toilet. i mean boys will still be boys. silly yet amusing. cam-whored. bugis day with 'prince and princess'

the next day, skipped class halfway. went to syaz's house to see baby aqil. (: lovely. didnt meet the faggots cos why; they went to kbox. disappointed yet smiling.

so today went to emma's grad ceremony at ritz carlton's ballroom. i swear to god the bell-boys are scary. they were replying to my mother but eyeing on me. nyahahaha. so sat all the way till 4pm before enjoying the awesome hi-tea. papa fetched us and off we go to more houses; the indons and the many kids one. lurvin it.

ps sebby babe; im sorry. next week before ns perhaps? smiles.

<3youmother.
toodles.

happy at last

2008-09-30T04:46:00.000-07:00

ikea, ikea, sheng shiong, cardboards, plastic bags, curtains, bedsheets and filthy eyerah.
things you can find in my living room currently. i swear to god its messy. i feel like running out of the house and come back once the cleaning is done thanks to my newly unpaid maid - sister emma =D but bitch went to work so presenting the newly unpaid maid - me. sheesh.

im suppose to like clean urgh but my back, eyes ok whole body hurts. i bloody sprayed the sabun into my left eye. WTF ! lesson learnt, check before use. but then again im excited for tomorrow. a big thanks to the dad who rushed off to my pakcik's house got kenduri i think, and he was like 'kemas semua'.

sorry faggots, couldn't meet up with you guys, im too busy at home with the sis and dad working. so my mum is like pinning her hopes on me to clean the house. hope you understand.

and seb; thanks for sending me home (: lets do it again next time. hahaha.

andand smiles for syaz; she's going to be an aunt soon (: im excitedddd. like holy shit. wooot2.

selamat hari raya maaf zahir dan batin, folks.
((: toodles.

maybe you'll come back.

2008-09-28T05:24:00.000-07:00

i was looking at my '2005-2007' pics. and found this. come to think about it, i miss this girl a lot, nurul atiqah. she's lovely and she lives in sembahwang. ive so much to tell her. used to call her every night and bitch bout lot of things. her laughter is contagious =D

&poor syazana bte rafid;ku. she's sick. she's having diarrhea. ): i feel bad cos i cant do anything to make her feel better. i really thought of going over with fruits or chocs/mousse. but im busy with this raya-cleaning thing.

anw; thanks sebby baby for the cookies. you made my day with your silly/ridiculous-not-funny jokes. thanks though.

tomorrow is a school day and again. i don't feel like going. and my ex-classmates tempt me to actually skip school and go watch movie. heh heh heh. with syaz ! i hope so. with her being all sick hmm. <3syaz. wish me luck; im dy-ing my whole hair blonde.

im prepared for the worst it is.

the back of my kitchen window.

please.

2008-09-27T07:17:00.000-07:00

if you have a hard time keeping up, then just give up.

im lurvin' the couch my dad just bought from god knows where its from, but sadly, i was told this morning that he's going to change it. i know right, a tear. frustrated yet smiling. i dont even get the chance to try it out. lol grins. hope that my new couch will satisfy my uncontrollable sexual desires. (:

2008-09-25T08:36:00.001-07:00

cute ! (: i swear to god syaz, im traumatised by your bapok look. but i still love you <3456 !

11.35pm

be wise

2008-09-25T06:07:00.000-07:00

so how many turns did IT go, guys ? =D

maths lesson ends with a big roar. raj being one of my victims actually go shut down his laptop after going to the link i sent him. the moment i saw him pressing CTRL + V, i started laughing my ass off. his reaction was cool, but later fooooooh classic. gay porn or whut. i got it from my stupid team-mate; taufiq mraz. lol. mraz pe geng ? &thanks raj. next time you watch out. YOU;LL GO DOWN WOMAN !

this is what me and taufiq talked bout during our presentation(gordon blabbering)

t: aku cam malas siak nak gi skola skrg. aku dapat b c b c.

i: aku pun siak. tu pasal smlm aku malas nak masuk. sumpah malas eh.

t: dulu 1st sem, 3 whole weeks straigh A's.(yes i know right, show-off)

i: *impressed + jealous look* wow.

t&i: giggles

now you know why ive been skipping classes and coming to class late. i found out that im not the only one feeling like that in class. jees.

like ok taugeh. and yes during break 2; 1230, ITE simei percussionist performed at forum. they are ok. cute performance. love the movees. =D can u believe it, i havent bath? lol ever since i came back from johor. malasssssssss. wanted to go with syaz to marina square with myra, ricca. but nah, johor mans. owells; pics. hope tomorrow will be another fun day in W16J. go deeviya (: <3

and to you my friend, i could not put up with you any longer. come on man, look at yourself in a full length mirror, wait, do you even own one? you are less than perfect. oh im sorry, i meant to say not even close. you've crossed the boundary this time, im sorry if you have a problem with the way we speak. deal with it or don't. it;s not us it's you. but hey; thank you for making me the center of your life. but if you could pls; stop the drama, drama mama. thank you. (:

toodles.

bow down.

2008-09-22T18:46:00.001-07:00

thank you and many apologies.

take a look inside

2008-09-21T08:00:00.000-07:00

what's going to happen to you if you keep holding on to the past?
can't seem to let it go.
you thought you could, but you're wrong.
what's worst if it just keeps coming back, haunting you in your sleep.
causing you to toss and turn
shed tears and even abusing yourself.

no one will understand what im going through right now. but i thank god for blessing me with an almost perfect family and amazing friends. having friends like syaz and the faggots who never fail to bring a smile on my face, i could never ask for more. because i know they will be there to pick me up when i fall. (i hope) tho there were times where we lost it but look how far we've come. we stayed strong. =D

and for that particular birthday girl who turns 18 today on 21st september; this year, we failed to celebrate it together as a trio. but hey ! im glad that you found your true happiness.

im thankful for what i have, shelter, clothes, money, an air-con-ed room and blings compared to those who dont own these luxuries. so stop complaining and start to appreciate people and things around you, bitches. it makes me sick to see you people complaining and whining. pfft.

mardy bum

2008-09-20T02:48:00.000-07:00

up up up and away. i fly high as i wait for your return.

bang bang bang ! die bots die ! im addicted to you again, counter-strike. love is in the air between me and you. i will never get bored killing you bitches. i rather play it at lan shop. its like when you play at home, something;s missing. N-O-I-S-E. ah bengs screaming; CB ! KNN ! and the techno song in the background and ill go screaming FUCK FUCK ! the amazing thing; that's where i met michael braun. =D

geylang infested with malais = mats n mins. omgawd. but the atmosphere was fantasteek. the semangat-ness. thumbs up. the faggots; simply annoying as ever. we went after breakfast, so the crowd was woah. i breakfast with my family at bedok. (: it was nice to finally breakfast with the loved ones. manan did not join us because she went out with her bf pfft. being single is still the best.

life in W16J; ive yet to find the thing that is missing in the class. something is just not right.

talking bout school, Beats encore on the other hand, intelesting. next week mon - wed practice days. im starting to give up. usually, i will look forward to it now im like shucks. i have practice. i have practice. i have more of practice. hey !

lesson learnt; never to fall in love unless you are sure of it or it will end up fugly. &thanks ashley chan kun jie for the money ): what will i do without you?

yumm dots dots dots. (:

toodles.

once upon a time

2008-09-13T23:13:00.000-07:00

never in my life had i ever thought of waking up and falling asleep feeling scared. scared of facing the truth and scared of facing myself in the mirror. disappointed yet again in myself. sometimes i wonder why am i treating those who have been treating me so well badly for the past years. why do i continuously let them down despite knowing the consequences. i hate myself for sometimes, it;s best to not wake up. i need help but what if help never comes?

(: smiles for syaz.

kill your boyfriend

2008-09-11T06:48:00.000-07:00

my grades are getting from bad to worst. i have lost my interest in studying and presenting in class. something's missing. is it just me or what ? cos if the answer lies within my ownself, i will do whatever it takes to change. i do not want to get another C. faci, you just do not get it, do you. why judge them by second meeting, shouldn't you be judging as a whole like after presenting and shit. that is where you will be able to spot if the person actually understand or not. oh whatever, love. for now, i really am going to school for the sake of going.

i really do not have the mood for anything. im sleepy. im losing it ): i swear to god i feel like punch and kick someone right now. *burps* ostfu. can the problems get any harder ? i mean in life, what is easy. even touch and go is hard ! *snap it snap it*

twinkle twinkle lil star

2008-09-08T04:52:00.000-07:00

oh my love,
the stars are shining bright,
here i am standing by the window,
wishing for you to be here,
to watch it with me.

im so sleepy. the only thing thats in my empty head is bed. i didnt go to school yet i feel so lethargic. OMGawd, i watched 4BIA. hell jyeah, bitches. watched it at causeway point with dad, mash and syaz. not bad. i give the movie 3 rotten tomatoes. (: i love the part whereby syaz and i will scream our balls off and she will constantly pinch my arm. thanks. (: i can't go on. i think i might have difficulties in sleeping tonight. kind enough to actually accompany me till i doze off ? anyone ?

the used rocks ! go paralyzed.

knock me out. pictures to be uploaded soon homos !

dearest;

2008-09-07T11:45:00.000-07:00

hanafi bin bohari; its funny to see how far we;ve come from day 1 to day 146. you are the light when everything is dark. you are the cherry on top of every sundaes. this is how much ur presence means in my life. =D without you in W45A, i don't think i will laugh as hard as i did. you are the best brother anyone could have. and i couldnt ask for more. thank you for being there when im down or up. awwwh. i told cha' and when i said i miss you, i really did you MOFO !
ps; the nasi i fed you not basi ok.

its 729am. slut called; it was nice to hear her early in the morning. (: undecided on what to wear. jees. what should i watch in the movies ? really. 4BIA is like a no no; people kept saying that 'no good. dont watch' let me be the JUDGE ok ? pfft. anw; yest went out with the faggots to sakura. OMGawd. infested with ma-lais. tho we look like kids, it doesnt give you the right to serve us later. bad service man. i give you guys 2 rotten tomatoes out of 5 ! hmpf.

here are the pictures on the eureka symposium 08 and the faggots. the science event.

syggg syazana. =O

lesson learnt; always bring a digi cam with you wherever you go. omgawd; using hp; so wrong. sheesh. <3

dreams dreams.

2008-09-07T01:28:00.000-07:00

1. What are your nicknames?
ikin, erin, ira, eyerah! Golly.

2. What do you do before bedtime?
tickle my sister until she falls off the bed then I go to slp (:

3. What was the last book you read/currently are reading?
danielle steel - House on hope street.

4. Would you marry and have kids?
hell jyeah ! \m/ 1 boy n 1 girl pls.

5. Last song you listened to?
Lily Allen – littlest thing bah =D

6. What do you eat the most?
Junkz. Err yah. HAHA. (shut up emma!)

7. Do you have a crush?
too many to mention. Shh.

8. What's the oldest piece of clothing in your wardrobe?
my torn underwear HAHAHA !

9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
TOTALLY; the sight of my toilet.

10. Do you have a good body-image?
hah what a question. Durh. Like durh. Jees. -________-“

11. Favourite brand of shoes?
charles and keith.

12. Which part of yourself do you like most?
my boobs. Cos I have one ! neh neh poo poo !

13. Who are currently the most important people to you?
momma, pops, emma, syaz, FAGGOTS and W45A-ians. (:

14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
aiy-yeen; a horny slut. She’s a cool girl who loves eating ice. Good sense of humor, dressing and dots dots dots. Very cranky when she’s hungry, beware. Never fail to make a person smile with her smile. LOLs.

15. What’s the last sentence that got stuck in your head?
why is fee so annoying ? my god he is.

16. What’s your favorite item of clothing?
my dress (:

17. What's your all time favourite drink?
vodka. HAHA.

18. If you had $1,000 in cash, what would you do with it?
ill donate it to the needy.

19. What items could you not go without during the day?
‘mp3’, handphone, wallet

20. What do you want to buy/get right now?
more clothes and shoes !

21. What personality trait do you wish you possess?
Patience. Have a little patience

done(:

fun filled with laughter

2008-09-05T05:59:00.000-07:00

i really need to keep myself busy. if not, i will start thinking bout things that are not meant to be thought. just thinking bout them makes me sick in the stomach. i am happy with the way i am for now. currently am filled with joy, laughter, problems, exhaustion and fastiation. can't believe ive been going to school. so lets gossip/rumor? i went home with dearestsyaz and yenfi. it felt so good to step into my house in mid-daylight. my sister was like 'omg ! your home ! holy shit' wtfook.

i actually have SKYPE. those who have, add me. SUPHOMOS. (: i vid cam with fee the whole day. haha. im not W45A-sick cos i have him in my screen. i miss those presentation times where he will take a paper and pen, move his chair from side to side. mash at the corner drawing his hand. lots of action going on. oh boy.

whatever it is, im syke for tomorrow. 16 of us faggots will be going out to simei, go eat. taw tweet. the cinas will be joining us too. imissthemsomuchthatimfallingapart.

i have a newly-made-friend name RAJ. full name RAJ KUMAR SINGH and he loves to climb the coconut tree and running around dancing bhangra.LifeinW16J

PS; sebastian, lets make it a point to hang out before you enter NS. 0ct 9. missed(:

the end of a new beginning

2008-09-04T10:30:00.000-07:00

why does tonight have to end.
why dont we hit restart and pause at our favourite parts. (: oh, love.

its happening. W45A, no one could replace you guys. the attachment i have with you guys are amazingly undescribeable. the bond you created, it is so hard to let go. im so scared of losing you that i dont know what to do. sorry. i need time on my own. things are changing at a fast pace and it is hard for me to keep up. but you guys will never be forgotten and that im sho'

so today, second day in W16J. woot. i managed to remember 3/4 of my newly-found classmates. surprise-surprise. things are improving compared to first day in class. OMGawd. the awkwardness, one word, WOW. =D

lets count the days

2008-09-02T09:28:00.000-07:00

lets just hope for the best and not for the worst. plspls pray that i will get a class as awesome as W45A which will motivate me to go to school and look forward to everyday? ): it will never be the same and that im sure of, my friends. owells; life move on with or without them.

and so today was ayeen's big science and pursuit of happiness event. it started at 9am and ended around 6pm. i swear to god i was bored during the talks but not for mr alan the CEO of biodiesel. he's awesome. i like him. and for the rest, yawns. sorry. i didnt mean to be rude by continuously snapping pictures of myself and gabbing with fee,mash,dee and layhuh. i am truly sorry. and so, ayeen was looking all dressed up with her pointy crocodile shoes, tie, blazer. impressive. there was also this amazing thing whereby teams have to go each stand and complete quizes and games. we were pretty good surprisingly. (: we were so good we got 2nd place. no surprise due to the number of people who actually played.

anw, school is today and we are having maths lesson. om gawd. yawns. fasting month somemore. other polys are like CLOSED and us RE-OPENs ! wtfook. looking forward to juggle balls in my class. welcome to W16J d'marquee. ok i need classes.

some of the pictures here = me drunk. heh.

these pics are like last day of school. the day we went pool-ing.

L O to the fucking L

tiger lilies

2008-09-01T01:56:00.000-07:00

i dont see the reason why people find it hard to communicate through messenger. it's simple, think, type and enter. if you find it so hard then why bother to log in in the first place. its important and instead you put me on ignore mode. tell me; what am i suppose to do? what the fuck am i suppose to do? gave me such a huge resposibility and all you did was walk away? thanks. and here i am thinking of all the posibble ways to make it work while you at the other end happily doing what you do best; shit. so why should i give a damn bout this, know why? because the rest don't. i dont see the reason for me to go on any further, maybe because its for myself. yes im selfish; deal with it. as much as i would want to shut the door, i couldnt. forget it. just forget it. thanks a lot for the effort you have put in us and sorry to disappoint you.

hit stuff with a bit of grin

2008-08-31T06:23:00.000-07:00

do you usually hit stuff with a grin ? i know i do. (:
1 more day to fasting month. the month where can actually help in diet-ing. it's been a week since ive started my so called 'diet-ing' and ive lost a kg. notice 'a' ? my oh my. every diet has a price to pay. but at the end of the day, i'll look into the mirror and say 'it's worth it,' heh.

honestly, ive not been up to anything. the reason why i decided to change my layout. boring. i spend almost 3 hrs doing it. seems easy but hell no.

there are many pictures to be uploaded. the chalet that my class had. when i say many i really mean many. ill post it up when i feel like posting it which will be like forever. ok im missing the time of having fun and goofing around with my mates. ): i miss being loved. ok shut up; homos.

Feel it
Breathe it
Believe it
And you'll be walking on air
Go try
Go fly
So high
And you'll be walking on air
You feel this
unless you kill me
Go on
And you're forgiven
I knew that
I could feel that
I feel like
I am walking on air

spotlight on me, please

2008-08-29T10:15:00.001-07:00

disappointed yet again with myself for not being able to get the energy from my team hiakdush. funny thing is that, we practiced a lot(maybe) but ended up with disappointing performance. we are unsure of what we are playing and the steps. OMG. ive never felt so shitty and disappointed in myself. what was i doing ? i tried my best to keep up and play with full energy. i tried. yes i did. but the overall; thumbs down. ): im so freaking out. we have to change the concept. the beats are sounding the same and the steps are out of place. WHY ?! give up. yes/no ?

on a happier note, i got into W16 something. many of W45-iAns are in W1. thank god. and whats better is that syaz is on the same level as me = more time. <3 but i swear to god my classmates ARE LIKE THE BEST OF THE BEST CIRCUS PEOPLE YOU CAN EVER ENCOUNTER WITH. like fee said; 'first day confirm aku tak puasa, maki dorang pe pasal' haha. l o fucking l.

should i be glad or should i not be? am i a hooker? am i a bitch? what am i?

the everlasting

2008-08-25T09:35:00.000-07:00

last saturday was awesome. tho i didnt much communicate with some of the faggots; i felt awkward just being there at first but hey; they are my friends afterall. it takes time and im gona give them the time they need. (:

monday is Beats and Mofo's day. had beats from 2-6pm. then meet up with ayeen at TRCC. went to meet deenco. for dinner at banquet. it was nice to finally meet them. (: i swear i play the 'thongs' wrongly. it sounded good tho. im born to be a 'thonger'

and so 123am and my tummy is growling. i only ate burger at 10am. i hate this diet. nopainnogain. its worth it im sho' you never know who you might end up with. mwahaha ! rich handsome prince with a pony. ok too fairytal-ish. euw. skali one mat rep. double euw.

anyway; chalet was awesome. the 3 days 2 nights at costa sands. we got 2 chalets for the price of $0. FREE ! W45A; you guys made it happened for the first four months of my life as a republican. never could i imagine, spending a day in class without fee and mash bullshitting, me laughing, ayeen's stupidity(at times), dee's boobs, ah bengs macho-ness, veekees bimbotic-ness and my family, mumndad<3 (: you guys are one of a kind and i will never forget any single one of you except for some. l o l.

&ending off with the BEATS encore dood. fai. *winks*

letssitunderthestars.

Don't look back

2008-08-23T10:56:00.000-07:00

stuck in the position of uncertainty; the feeling of hoping for the best is starting to slowly fade away.
giving up is the only way; i shall not keep my hopes high any longer.
it will just lead me nowhere; seeing at where im standing since the right beginning, unmoved; unchanged.
sometimes i wonder, if all of this is a joke. is it ? who am i kidding.
&later, we shall recall back and have a good laugh at how silly i can get sometimes with my decisions.
i don't want to look back and regret; but at least i know i tried.
and with that i feel contented.

no one knew the heart ache i went through; all the love i have for you.
unnoticed; i didnt know what the outcome might be
not caring for a single bit; i'll love whatever you become.
forget all the reckless things we've done;
though everything's been said and done; i still feelandneed you.

there's no way you will be forgotten, my friend.
and the feeling remains unchanged.

so this is it. the chapter ends here :)

&to manan; im glad you found mr.right. he's purrfect in all ways. size is not the main factor in being in love my dearest sister. (: good luck.

swing me around

2008-08-22T09:57:00.000-07:00

i have been spending a lot of time with my mother. seeing her in that condition made me look back at how awful ive been treating her. as for now, all i could think of is making you smile. she is my top priority. ily, mother.

currently as syazana;s house. cant believe i woke up at 7 just to be here. lol ! and we slept until 4 pm. i woke up looking at her snoring. what a sight. (: silence speaks thousand of words, my dear. owells; heading down to safron to have dinner with the faggots. been a long time but not all will be present tho. thanks for making the effort. and drug ! wtfook are you. u mofo ! before i bloody cut ur fooking hair, i better see ur faggish face there. if not, our friendship ends here. heh. so the drama.

yesterday was uber fun. thanks seb for the awesome day. sorry i made you spend on me. hey, im worth every penny of yours. =D what can i say. the massage ive long for, i got it. my back, ouch. i heard the woman cracked it and i actually made a sound. seb was like 'shut up !' lol. we took the couple one. so you know how it was like. we should do it again sometime just that in different rooms.

*yawns. syaz is like doing her hair. -.- and im like on the bed. omg. no one called. i want to watch fireworks but instead we;ll be eating pratas. HAHA. see the difference ? the pratas are like sex by the beach. really really. i know, prolly by now you feel like eating pratas. i feel you. (: ive been spending less time with this bitch of mine, im glad to see her smile.

its safe to say that for now, things are going like how it supposed to.

your unlike any other

2008-08-21T08:16:00.000-07:00

mon tues wed;
chalet with my class W45A. had fun. everyone was there i think. ok maybe not. but that;s about it. hving bodyaches due to lack of sleep and more of it. i swear to god sleeping is bad during chalets. somehow, we managed to keep ourselves awake until 7 by playing animal game using cards(ayeen creation) cos she's an animal herself; a horse =D lol. but that;s about it.

thurs;
went out with my mama to buy her stuffs. didnt go for my BEATS practice. i felt bad cos i missed out on 2 already. first is the showcase for what we have so far and today; they actually completed the whole song just need to tighten it. thank god. but im missing a lot uh which sucks. owells.

i promised myself already to cleverly divide my time and to make set priorities for myself. its for my own benefit. thank you very much. im waiting for her return. and slowly, i will make it. i will make sure things change for the best.

your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
you are unlike any other
you will always be my thunder.

are we destined?

2008-08-11T09:36:00.000-07:00

it feels so real.
the touch, the ting-ling feeling when your around, the sparks
you are real.
i am real.

we are real, sweets.

the day i hate most is today; 12 august 2008
the day where W45A bids goodbye;
tears, joy, laughter weve shared;
will always be remembered, my dearest friends.

promise me; do not be strangers.